Chapter 29: In the Name of Love

Back home, Meng Zhi let out a deep sigh.

He tried to act like nothing was wrong, but the truth was, he felt exhausted again.

…Just like when he tried to save them.

People are complex. Every thought, every moment, can differ vastly. Figuring out those thoughts, handling them—it’s the most draining thing in the world.

He’d reborn this time to avoid such burdens.

Yet here he was, tangled up again.

To live his own life, he had to erase their actions. To hide his reborn identity, he had to pretend nothing happened.

He was doing all the work. But the exhaustion in his heart was real, inescapable.

Truth be told, he wasn’t that angry with Feng Xiyao. Maybe too many loops had numbed him. He didn’t even want to blame her.

Chen Xinya, Feng Xiyao—it didn’t matter.

They were the same. Hopeless in their own way.

Meng Zhi knew this better than anyone.

These past days, Feng Xiyao’s sisterly act had almost fooled him. For a moment, he nearly forgot she was just as obsessive as the rest.

Her obsession was so extreme she’d ended her life over Chen Xinya’s name.

Now, drugging him to graduate together? To her, it was nothing shocking. The exam probably meant little to her—she’d once thought they could run away, live off her music, and be happy without it.

In her mind, it was just a childish, harmless trick to keep her beloved close. That’s all.

That’s who she was.

That’s who they all were.

Perfect lovers only existed in dreams. In reality, they were beautiful and rotten.

Meng Zhi was used to it.

He didn’t plan to dwell on it. To her, he’d just slept longer, hadn’t missed the exam.

So be it. Let it go.

Yawning, he headed to bed. Tomorrow’s comprehensive exam was a big deal.

But then, a knock at the door.

“Who’s there?”

Opening it, he saw her and sighed, “What now?”

“Would you believe me if I said I came to apologize?”

Feng Xiyao, unlike her usual brash self, stood with her head bowed, looking guilty, eyes glistening.

“I’m sorry… I did something awful.” Her voice dripped with remorse.

Meng Zhi gave a bitter smile. “If you knew it was awful, why do it? What’s the point of apologizing now?”

“…I was scared.” She mumbled, “Not an excuse, but I was really scared.”

“Scared you’d lose me. Scared that in the year before I take the exam, you’d become someone else’s boyfriend.”

“So what?” Meng Zhi tilted his head. “Even if I got a girlfriend, that’s not a crime, is it?”

“…It’s not okay.”

“Why not?”

“Because I like you.” Her eyes shimmered. “You might think it’s ridiculous, unbelievable, but I really do.”

“It’s not a whim, not a crush. I’ve liked you longer than you think, and you mean more to me than you know.”

“I-I can’t lose you.” Her voice wavered, eyes reddening. “As long as I’m by your side, I’d do anything.”

“I know what I did was wrong, but I can make it up to you! Next year, I’ll transfer to your school, stay with you. Any request, I’ll agree. Anything you want, I’ll make it happen.”

“You want to go to college? I’ll take the exam with you, go to the same place, share college life. Tired of studying? We’ll move to a new city, start fresh. You don’t have to do anything—play games, eat hotpot, whatever. I can earn enough to support you…”

Her words grew frantic, painting a vivid picture of her ideal future, hoping to sway him, to earn forgiveness.

But Meng Zhi stayed silent.

The hallway was eerily quiet. The harsh light cast her shadow, mocking her hesitation to step inside.

After a long pause, she heard his weary, helpless voice.

“It’s not as complicated as you think.”

“You know, a few days ago, Chen Xinya said something similar.”

“Huh?” She blinked, dazed.

His eyes dulled. “She said she likes me. Wants to be with me. Said sweet things any guy would fall for.”

“But you both got one thing wrong.”

“…You never asked how I feel.”

His voice was soft, but it pierced her like a needle through her heart.

“I’m not a likable guy.” He spoke as if to himself. “If I was, maybe my parents wouldn’t have divorced, started new families.”

“I never imagined anyone would like me so much they’d go to extremes, stop at nothing.”

“But I never asked for anyone to like me.”

“I like myself. That’s enough.”

“Whether I take the exam isn’t the point. What matters is, I’ve planned my future. If I get into X University, I know where I’ll rent, what PC I’ll buy to treat myself, what I’ll try at the campus cafeteria or nearby takeout…”

“I’ve pictured it all, and just imagining it feels so fulfilling, so happy.”

“Because I’m living my life. On my terms, my way.”

“I really.”

Truly.

“Really want this life,” he said, staring at her. “I dream of it.”

“So, please.”

“Don’t use ‘I like you’ or ‘it’s for your own good’ as an excuse to ruin my life.”