Chapter 35: Now, at this time.

The same words, yet they felt so utterly different; it wasn’t just the voice or the tone.

My vision was sealed in darkness; the single boyish hand that completely enveloped both of mine was warm.
Yulan waited patiently, never moving, as I blinked over and over in the dark until my tightly pressed lips finally relaxed.

He had grown into such a gentle, gentle, big boy.
A boy with the build and heart big enough to wrap someone up completely.

It made me happy… and a little sad.
The little boy who used to follow me around with tears in his eyes would not stay small forever.

(I never thought I’d get to feel a little brother growing up right in front of me.)

If Mary-June—who was supposed to be my real sister by blood and on paper—had been the one, I doubt I would have felt either happy or sad.
Just a mild relief, and that would be the end of it.

That was why I had believed I would never experience this in my life.
Yet now that I had, how joyful it was.

See—Yulan was giving me the words I wanted again.

I had wished to give something back, yet before I could return even one, he gave me two, three.
It felt pathetic that I could never catch up, but in the end our relationship would never change.
Yulan was growing beyond simply “cute,” yet he was still my precious little-brother figure.

“…Thank you.”

“Feeling better?”

“Yes. I’m sorry for worrying you.”

“Good… but let’s rest somewhere just in case.”

The darkness gradually lightened; the moment light returned, my eyes stung for an instant.

He said nothing about the tears that surely filled them, and our usual relationship continued as if it were the most natural thing.
I somehow kept the tears from falling, but the sting in my nose and the heat behind my eyes were real.
That he pretended not to notice was surely because he understood what I wanted.

“There’s a great place just ahead! You’ll definitely love it, Vio-chan!”

“Do they have anything you can eat?”

“They have light meals too, so I’m fine.”

“Then let’s go there.”

“Yeah!”

Without the slightest awkwardness or unnatural feeling, Yulan took my hand and started walking.

Usually we walked side by side, but now he led the way; all I could see was the ear peeking from his brown hair.
His steps should have been bouncy with excitement, yet I didn’t feel dragged along at all.
Every so often he turned just his face back, and his expression melted into something even sweeter.

He looked so happy, so delighted; even the sound of his shoes tapping the ground seemed to dance.

Just for this moment, it felt as though the whole world was blessing us.

×　×　×　×

“…!”

“Pfft… good?”

“…Mmph…!”

I nodded frantically again and again, and Yulan finally burst out laughing, unable to hold it in.

Talking with my mouth full would be unseemly, but in this casual café it should be forgiven to let my eyes shine with pure delight.

Before me sat a perfectly round, puffed-up pancake.
The fluffy stack looked like several layers, but apparently it was just one.
It had been buried in cream, but the cut surface was indeed a single mass.
Its softness made it slowly lose shape over time, but I didn’t care in the slightest; right now my mouth was filled with happiness.

“I’m glad you like it. You don’t eat pancakes very often, Vio-chan, so I was a little worried.”

“It’s… incredibly delicious.”

“Yeah, I can tell just by watching. Bringing you here was definitely the right call.”

In front of Yulan was a simple sandwich with lettuce and ham.

As he said, the café did offer light meals, but sweets were clearly the main attraction; the ratio was overwhelmingly skewed.
He had ordered it out of consideration for me, but he probably didn’t particularly want anything.
Of the four quarters, only one had been eaten.

“Never mind me; you eat too.
Your sandwich will get hard.”

It wasn’t a bakery, so it wasn’t made to last long.
If easy eating was the selling point, leaving it untouched was surely outside expectations.

“I want to watch you enjoying it a little longer.”

“You don’t have to watch.”

When I pouted, he sent over a light “sorry, sorry” in a teasing tone.
I wasn’t really angry, but I had no particular desire to be stared at while eating.

When I stopped moving my fork and knife and simply stared at him, he finally surrendered.
He pursed his lips like a sulking child, looking dissatisfied, but grabbed the sandwich and finished one quarter in two big bites.

A side of him far removed from his usual gentle expression—more bold than refined.
At balls he observed perfect etiquette, but here he was no different from any ordinary boy.
Even the way he wiped his mouth with his thumb looked a little rough.

And yet, to Violet, it felt like watching a complete stranger.

“…Vio-chan?”

“Ah… sorry, it’s just rare, I couldn’t help it.”

“Rare…? We eat lunch together, don’t we?”

“At the academy you’re conscious of manners even during breaks, so I’ve never seen you eat like that.”

Inside the academy where etiquette was part of the curriculum, one was always aware of watching eyes, even during free time.
If someone saw him eat like this, he might be scolded for poor manners.

Normally when Yulan and Violet ate together it was either at the academy or at formal functions.
There were surprisingly few places where they could let their guard down completely.

“That’s true… Actually, I’m pretty tense most of the time without realizing it.”

For noble sons and daughters, paying attention to every gesture was close to instinct.
Under the education drilled into us, etiquette was always warming up in a corner of the mind.

Still, no human could remain perfect twenty-four hours a day, three hundred sixty-five days a year.
Even a puppet couldn’t manage that after the strings were cut.

So everyone unconsciously switched modes.
They found places where they could relax—and places where they should.

This café was one of the latter.
In an ordinary, unpretentious shop like this, clinging too tightly to formality would itself be bad manners.

When in Rome, do as the Romans do.
Everything in its proper place.
As long as one didn’t misjudge the balance, it was fine.

“I’ve been like this since I was little, so it’s not hard anymore… but I have to let go where I can.”

“You sometimes think in such rough ways.”

“Really? But you’re different from usual too, Vio-chan.”

“Eh…?”

As he spoke, Yulan’s large hand slowly approached and brushed the corner of my lips.
In the edge of my vision: that big hand, and a strand of gray hair caught on his fingertip.

“You were eating your hair.”

“…!”

I froze for a moment at the sudden touch, but a beat later I understood.
He had removed a strand that had stuck to my lips.

Once I realized, heat rushed to my face instantly.
Even if manners were more relaxed here than at the academy, to not notice I was eating my hair… More fundamentally, I had been so absorbed in eating that I hadn’t even thought about my long hair.
Normally I was careful to keep it from getting dirty and never failed.

I must have let my guard down far more than I realized.

“It’s rare for Vio-chan to make a mistake like that… hehe, cute.”

“I-It was just a coincidence…!”

His teasing tone tickled my eardrums, and that beaming, delighted face was infuriating.

My cheeks were surely even redder now, but before he could tease me further I focused on the pancake in front of me.

“Delicious?”

“…Yes, delicious.”

In truth I had swallowed in a panic and barely tasted it, but even so, I felt undeniably full.