Chapter 81: Two people who want to be alone.

I didn’t need to check to know that every gaze around us was brimming with curiosity.
Both of us were the type to attract attention, but the overwhelming beauty of Violet and the sacred aura of Rosette drew completely different kinds of stares.

We had been in the same academy since middle school, yet we had barely spoken.
We had exchanged words and were aware of each other’s existence, but even after yesterday, our relationship should still have been less than acquaintances.
At least, that was how it was for Violet.

(I was so caught up with Yulan that I completely forgot.)

My mind had been entirely on what came after our encounter; until the moment I saw Rosette’s face just now, yesterday had been shoved into a cluttered corner of memory.
To Violet, it had been that insignificant an event.

(But… to her, it must have been important.)

The secret I had accidentally learned yesterday.
To me it was something I could forget without issue; if I were blunt, something I didn’t even care about.
But to the one whose secret it was, it must have been terrifying.

Secrets are weaknesses.
The fewer people who know, the heavier they become.
Even though you’re only hiding it, you start to feel like you’re deceiving everyone.

I could understand without thinking.
I could even empathize.
If I had been in Rosette’s position, I would surely have done the same thing.

“…Shall we move somewhere else?”

“Y-yes…! Actually, there’s a place I’d like you to come with me.”

“Eh…?”

This time it was Violet’s turn to be bewildered by the unexpected offer.
Where had the nervous, fidgety behavior from moments ago gone?
What on earth had given her the girl the resolve…?
Unable to ask a single question, Violet could only follow her back.

×　×　×　×

We arrived at a place I recognized, a place I had even used before.
Still dim, still devoid not only of people but even of their presence.

“…Here?”

It was the exact spot where we had met and parted yesterday.
For Rosette, surely a paradise where she could reveal her precious secret.

“Why…”

I had assumed she had cleared a salon or something, but this place was indeed perfect for a conversation no one must overhear.
Even so, I never imagined I would return the very next day.
After yesterday’s incident, I had decided never to come here again.

“It’s really deserted… and because it’s in the shade, no one notices from outside.
That’s why I came here often.”

“I see.”

Then our meeting yesterday hadn’t been such an unfortunate coincidence after all.
Sooner or later, the two of us would have run into each other by “chance.”

“So… I wondered if maybe Violet-sama felt the same.”

Rosette stopped a little ahead and slowly turned to look at me.
Only the sound of wind passing between us was clear; nothing else reached our ears.

No voices, no gazes, no ideals or impressions from anyone.

“I thought… maybe you wanted to be alone too.
That this might be the place you came for that reason.”

And that I had taken it from you.
If she knew I used this spot, she would surely stop coming herself.
That prediction was perfectly accurate.
It felt almost as if she had read my mind.

Because she had probably thought the same thing:
If Violet uses it, then I should stop coming here.

Two people who wanted to be alone understood each other’s feelings perfectly.

“But… then what about you, Rosette-sama?”

“I-I know lots of other places…!
The places I like aren’t really popular with others, so they’re naturally deserted.”

Her sheepish “ehehe” made her look far more childlike than her usual pristine image.
This was probably the real “Rosette” at her core; and because the person who knew the secret she least wanted known was me, she had let her guard down completely.

Living only for someone else’s sake feels like your heart is hardening, being crushed, torn apart; painful.

“…You don’t have to be so considerate.”

“Eh…”

“You’re right, though.”

I had looked for a place where I could be alone, where I could escape people’s eyes.
A place where I didn’t have to care about gazes, expectations, impressions, rumors.

But it wasn’t that I wanted a place with no people.

I stepped past the still-bewildered Rosette and entered the gazebo; it felt even dimmer inside.
The sun should shine equally on everything, yet the overlapping trees blocked it so easily.

Many would feel oppressed by that darkness, but to me it felt like protection.
I had wanted to get away from people who wouldn’t understand this feeling.

I wanted to be somewhere that didn’t deny the part of me that found every emotion directed at me; good or bad; nothing but a nuisance.

“We’re still standing; shall we sit?”

“Eh—!? Ah… y-yes…!”

The way her expressions kept changing was somehow adorable; perhaps proof that I finally had a little room to breathe.
My head had been so full of so many things since yesterday that it felt ready to burst.

Maybe my brain had simply shut down from the unexpected attack from an unexpected direction.

Still, it was fine.
Just for now, just a little longer, I wanted to stay empty and far from reality.

And, just a tiny bit…
two people who wanted to be alone wanted to huddle together for warmth.