Chapter 3: You said you’re my good brother?

Lu Hang asked cautiously.

All the way here, no matter how many times Lu Hang pressed her for answers,
this unfamiliar beautiful girl just kept a gloomy face, gripping the steering wheel tightly.
She looked like she was ready to take revenge on society and ram the car into everyone in her path.

The drive was nerve-wracking the entire time.
Finally, after twisting and turning, the car pulled into the underground parking lot of a shopping mall.

She took a deep breath.
In the dim lighting of the underground garage, she stared fixedly at Lu Hang.
The look in her eyes made his heart pound—mainly because she seemed like she might pull out a long knife at any second and start robbing and murdering.

“You’re Lu Hang, right?”
She finally spoke.

“Yeah… that’s me…”
Lu Hang answered.

“Birthday April 4th. You usually love pizza with cola. You play League of Legends casually, stuck in Iron rank.”

“How do you know that?”
Lu Hang’s eyes widened in shock.

“Because I’m Bai Huang!”
The girl nearly broke down:
“Didn’t I already tell you on WeChat? Then what did you think I brought you here for—robbery?”

If you hadn’t said anything, I really would’ve thought it was a robbery…

Lu Hang stared at the girl for a long time, face full of disbelief.

My bro turned into a beautiful girl?

How am I even having a dream like this?

Although the previous Bai Huang, being a pampered rich kid, had skin as fair as a girl’s,
and always carried that lazy, mischievous bad-boy smile that a lot of girls in school especially loved,
when she first claimed to be Bai Huang, Lu Hang hadn’t gone in that direction at all.
But now that she pointed it out, he looked carefully—
those narrow eyes and the exact same tear mole at the corner were identical in position.

But Bai Huang had a dick, damn it.
The person in front of him… no matter how you looked, she didn’t seem to have one.

Lu Hang stared at her face, lost in thought.
Could this really be that absurd goddess’s doing?

The thing about being turned into a catgirl last night, all the strange events piling up…
The more he thought, the more it seemed possible.
It’s just that the goddess had never mentioned anything like this before.

She couldn’t have just… forgotten, right?

A bad premonition was already stirring in his heart,
but Lu Hang still clung to one last hope:
“Old Bai, did you lose at Truth or Dare and send this girl to prank me? Where’s the real you?”

The girl rolled her eyes dramatically, pulled out an iPhone, and tapped a few times.

Lu Hang’s phone rang.

He looked down—caller ID: “Old Bai”.
It was Bai Huang calling.

Lu Hang gave the girl a suspicious glance.
She was staring back defiantly.
He answered and spoke quietly:
“Hello?”

“Hello your fucking mom, fuck your mouth.”
The girl held up her phone, furious and embarrassed.
The exact same voice came through the speaker.

“That doesn’t count.”
Lu Hang hung up and spread his hands:
“You’re using his phone so you’re him? If I stole the U.S. President’s phone, does that make me the President?”

“…”

The girl almost rolled her eyes so hard they fell out.
She pursed her lips, sat back in the driver’s seat, took a deep breath—clearly at her wit’s end.

Finally, her hand moved toward her waistband:
“Last time we showered together, didn’t you tease me about the mole on my ass? Said it looked like a star. Want me to take my pants off and show you?”

“No no no, that’s too much!”
Lu Hang panicked.

The girl slammed the steering wheel in frustration:
“Then what the hell will make you believe me?”

Lu Hang thought it over.
This really did seem impossible to prove.

He was just about to say “Fine, take them off then,”
when he noticed her eyes were already red-rimmed.
He immediately shut up.

Afraid that if he actually said it, he’d get insta-killed.

“Lu Hang.”
Her eyes were bloodshot, stubbornly locked on his.
Her shoulders trembled slightly:
“Ever since I woke up like this, no one believes me. I can’t even get into the dorm. If I tell my family they won’t believe it either. I could only come find you. I finally drove all the way here, and even you don’t believe me. What the hell am I supposed to do? Fuck your mouth!”

“You really are Bai Huang?”
Lu Hang was still half-doubting.

“Believe it or don’t.”

“How did you end up like this?”

“I don’t know either!”
The girl wiped her eyes, voice cracking with sobs:
“Yesterday I was still drinking with some girls, booked a hotel room to keep partying. Woke up this morning and… this. I don’t know what to do. I can’t go back to the dorm, can’t check into a hotel because the ID doesn’t match anymore. Bro, I don’t want to sleep on the streets!”

With that, her emotions surged again.
Her shoulders shook harder.
She covered her face and trembled quietly.

Lu Hang thought for a moment, then gave up thinking:

“…You really have a mole on your ass? If it’s that bad, just show me.”

…

Even though the girl got very worked up and desperately wanted to prove she really was Bai Huang—
at one point actually starting to undo her pants to show him the star-shaped mole on her butt—
for various reasons, Lu Hang ultimately didn’t force her to strip and prove it.

Because he was mostly teasing her.

The moment she said she was Bai Huang, Lu Hang had already believed her.

Last night he himself had been turned into a catgirl.
Right now he could believe anything.

Anything.

Anything at all.

Even if right now Bai Huang suddenly stared at him seriously and said:
“I’m an Ultraman from the M78 Nebula. Thanks for being my bro all these years. But Earth is facing a huge crisis right now. You have to become an Ultraman too. We need to combine to defeat the super monster.”
And then this Maybach suddenly transformed into a spaceship and flew into space—
Lu Hang felt his heart wouldn’t even fluctuate much.

He’d probably just take a deep breath and calmly prepare to meet Father of Ultra.

The goddess had already appeared in front of him.
Before that, Lu Hang had been a staunch atheist.

His worldview was already as fragile as Ganyu’s chastity surrounded by ten bags of sin.

If all of this was because of that meteor shower night when he wished for a girlfriend who truly loved him…
then wouldn’t he become the greatest sinner in history?

He wanted to seal his heart and become a sigma male, but failed spectacularly—
and as a bonus, his bro’s dick got yeeted.

Where does one even find such clarity for one’s dick…

Whether Lu Hang wanted to admit it or not,
this girl in front of him—her catchphrases, the suit she was wearing when she left earlier,
the fact she knew exactly what he liked to eat, even his League rank—everything matched.

Although Lu Hang had good social connections,
he didn’t actually have that many real friends beyond the four in the dorm.

The person in front of him really was Bai Huang.
That was probably just how it was.

“So… next, should I go to your place?”
The car twisted and turned its way out of the garage.
The girl spoke uncertainly.

Lu Hang glanced at her sideways.
Her eyes were still red, gripping the wheel.
Those phoenix eyes with the tear mole looked a little lost, a little broken—enough to make anyone feel protective and tender.

Lu Hang tried hard to mentally connect her with the old Bai Huang:
“No other choice. Didn’t you say you had nowhere to stay?”

“But didn’t you say before that you wanted to live alone for a while? If I really go to your place, I won’t be disturbing you, right?”

“Tch, what disturb? We’ve lived together before anyway.”

“Mm.”
Her tense shoulders finally relaxed a little:
“…Sorry. My head was a mess earlier. I took it out on you. Good thing I’ve got you, bro.”

“No big deal.”
Lu Hang said.