Chapter 0: Love, Desire, Magical Girl

When I was twelve, I met the light of hope in my life—a magical girl.

It was a summer afternoon, and I was playing video games in an air-conditioned room.
Like any typical teenager, my focus during the holidays was entirely on various forms of entertainment.
I thought my life would always be this calm and carefree.
Until I witnessed the world turn into a living hell.

At first, it was just tremors, like an earthquake, shaking the objects in my room until they toppled over.
I should have fled in panic like any normal person would.
But some inexplicable urge drove me to slowly inch toward the window and peer outside.
What I saw was the collapse of the world itself.

The world was becoming incomprehensible.
Countless monstrous beasts appeared out of nowhere, roaming every corner of the city.
The sky was no longer blue with white clouds; instead, a cracked, blood-oozing earth had taken its place.
A black sun and a red moon flickered on the horizon, their reflections melting buildings into glass and casting light that turned fleeing people on the streets into grotesque ice sculptures.

Suddenly, the building I was in began to tilt.
My body, too close to the window, was flung outside by inertia.
When I thought my life was over, a gentle figure caught me.

It was a magical girl. A magical girl saved me.

Soft and fragrant—that was my first impression of her.
The scent, like gardenia flowers, stirred something in my heart as I breathed it in.
She sensed my distress and quickly carried me to a safe place nearby.

Only then did I get a clear look at her appearance—golden eyes, white hair tied with a few braids on the sides and flowing down her back, a petite frame, dressed in a gold-and-white Lolita-style outfit, her delicate legs clad in sheer white stockings, and black loafers on her feet.

“Friend, even if the world collapses and your home is destroyed, please don’t give up hope.”
“As long as you’re alive, there’s always a chance to rebuild your home. Anything is possible.”

The white-haired magical girl floated in midair as she spoke to me, making a cheerful gesture of encouragement.
Then, without looking back, she flew off to help others in need.

That day, when Earth was first invaded by monstrous beasts on a massive scale, was later designated by the United Nations as Descent Day.
Details about the magical world were also made public by governments worldwide after that day.
After my encounter with the magical girl, I came to understand something vague and indescribable.
In short, I realized I had developed feelings for her—not just any magical girl, but that white-haired, golden-eyed magical girl.

From that day on, I began a marathon that only I was running.
I started studying diligently and exercising regularly, living each day to the fullest.
Finally, I earned a spot in the preparatory program at the Central Republic Magic University, gaining the chance to access supernatural abilities.
At last, I had an opportunity to follow in that magical girl’s footsteps.

I was sixteen that year.

The following year, due to my outstanding performance, the preparatory program’s leadership made an exception and allowed me to join the Bureau of Magical Affairs early.
I chose to become a liaison for a magical girl team.
By sheer luck, the captain of the team I was assigned to was none other than the magical girl who saved my life five years ago.

Over the next two years, I collaborated with her team on many tasks.
These included, but were not limited to, resource allocation, information relay, intelligence gathering, and sometimes even providing combat support myself.
It seemed that my feelings for her were fulfilled through our teamwork.
Seeing her joyful smile after defeating an enemy, her delight in savoring delicious food, her shy blush when praised, or even her frustration over insufficient allowances—I cherished every moment.

Whether in work or daily life, my relationship with that magical girl should have stayed strictly professional.
Until I defiled her.

That day, the magical girl team was on a cleanup and investigation mission in the ruins of a city.
As the only accompanying staff, I was responsible for operating the detection equipment.
When I received a distress signal from the team’s captain, the equipment had just finished warming up.
I was shocked—she, one of the strongest magical girls, needing help?

I rushed from the base to an abandoned shopping mall, but there was no sign of the other team members.
The magical girl was slumped against a wall in the furniture section, her clothes torn, her body curled up as if enduring immense pain.
I hurriedly carried her to a mattress, sitting helplessly by her side, watching her suffer but unable to do anything.

I could only stare at her curled-up, stockinged feet and the… curves beneath her tattered clothes.
Something mysterious stirred within me, my throat tightened, and uncontrollable thoughts flooded my mind.
The more I thought, the more chaotic my mind became.
Finally, something overwhelming stripped away my clarity and reason—the thread of sanity snapped.

Afterward, the mission was completed successfully.
A week later, I resigned, taking my admission letter to the Central Republic Magic University and fleeing that city—and that magical girl—like a coward.
Every night since then, I drowned my sorrows in alcohol, smoked expensive cigarettes, and scrolled through my phone, obsessively following every piece of news about her.

“So, she disappeared for six months because she was recovering from injuries sustained fighting beasts. That explains it.”
I read the news aloud, letting out a relieved sigh, only to be consumed again by guilt over my actions.
I crushed the lit cigarette in my hand and fell silent.

Time, it seems, can wash away everything.
Even the guilt in my heart seemed to gradually fade, almost forgotten.
But, laughably, some blind gaze from a deity fell upon me—I gained the powers of a magical girl.

After graduating from university, I registered a new identity using my transformed appearance—a documented magical girl.
I understood that with great power comes great responsibility.
So, just like when I was young, I trained my magic daily and honed my skills.
When assigned to a team, I returned to that same team, but with a new face—and a new gender.

During my introduction, the white-haired, golden-eyed girl held my hand, asking with concern if I was adjusting well.
I kept my head down, unable to meet her eyes.
She just smiled and introduced me to the other team members.
Only I knew the truth—that I was merely… disgusted by my own vileness.

And so, I integrated into the team, becoming the junior everyone doted on.
I did my utmost to meet their expectations.
I progressed quickly, soon standing on equal footing with the captain, becoming a pillar of the team.

There’s an old saying: good and evil will always meet their due.
During a subjugation mission, I paid the price for my past mistake.
At last, the weight in my heart was lifted.

Due to physical reasons, I retired from active duty and returned to an ordinary life, which continues to this day.