Chapter 1: The Omniscient and Omnipotent Goddess

A meteor shower lit up the sky.

They say this one only comes once every thousand years, and wishes made on it actually work.
Lu Hang usually couldn’t care less about this kind of thing, but that night, while moving out of the dorm, he had nothing better to do. On a whim, he decided to head up to the rooftop to take a look.

A meteor shower, sure—but really just a few streaks of light flashing across the starry sky.
Every time one streaked past, a chorus of excited squeals rose from the crowd.

“I want to be with my baby forever, mwah mwah~”

“Me too, I wanna be with baby forever!”

Disgusting.
Lu Hang leaned on the railing and thought.

The rooftop was packed.
Other than a handful of people genuinely excited about this “once-in-a-millennium” event, most were couples hoping to score some cosmic good luck.
Yet to Lu Hang, a second-year who thought dating was the most boring thing in the world, it all felt pointless.

He’d been single his whole life—mother-fetus solo, as they say—until he met his ex.

Right at the start of freshman year, he fell hard for a girl whose smile was stupidly cute.
For a while he was completely head over heels, buying her meals, clothes, anything, terrified she might ever feel wronged.
Having basically zero experience with the opposite sex, he poured every shallow ounce of what he thought “love” was into her—doing her homework, buying the bags and outfits she liked, handing over most of his living expenses while he lived on pickled veggies and steamed buns.

Then one day she saw a new Gucci bag she desperately wanted.
It cost three months of his living allowance.
When he said he couldn’t afford it, the same girl who used to gaze at him with watery, love-struck eyes suddenly turned cold and dumped him.

“If you can’t even buy me a single bag, how can you say you love me?”

What about all the bags before this one?

That one line turned every bit of effort he’d poured into her into a clown show.
Her retort felt like the curtain call of a circus act.

Money gone, heart shattered.
Lu Hang was so wounded he nearly turned anti-women for life.

After holing up like a hikikomori for a week, he concrete-sealed his heart and swore: never again.
From now on, bro is going full Sigma male.

To really commit to the bit, he even moved out of the dorm he shared with four good bros.
He was living alone now; his stuff wasn’t even fully unpacked.

“This meteor shower is super effective,” the campus forum had claimed.
“Everyone remember to make a wish~ May all your dreams come true…”
The student council president who wrote that had no idea what kind of filthy wishes people were actually making.
Lu Hang had already overheard someone wishing their pet cat would turn into a catgirl at night to “repay their kindness.”

As the very last lone star streaked across the pale-purple sky, Lu Hang suddenly felt something stir in his chest.
He pressed his palms together.

“If it really works… I want a real girlfriend.”
He whispered it, then silently added a condition in his heart:

‘One I love, and who loves me back.’

The meteor vanished into the night.

Realizing what he’d just done, Lu Hang laughed at himself, shook his head, and quietly headed downstairs.

What the hell, lard must’ve clogged my brain.

Did you already forget the vow you made after getting dumped?
No relationships, ever again.

Date? Date my ass.
Fall in love? Fall in love my ass.
If I ever fall in love again, I’ll jump off this building!

…

“Are all the wishes processed yet? We’ve got KPIs here—hurry it up.”

“Right away, senpai.”

In an endless expanse of pure white, a being wearing an osmanthus crown and ceremonial robes was completely frazzled.

“What even is this—‘I want to marry Sakurajima x-I’? What the hell is Sakurajima x-I? I don’t know! And ‘make my cat repay me’—how does a cat repay anyone!?”
She stared at the flood of incoming messages in total despair.

A goddess with heavy dark circles under her eyes walked past holding coffee, glanced over, and casually said,
“You can ignore the ones that don’t make sense. Just grant the ones you understand.”

“Oh, oh, got it.”
The younger goddess nodded quickly.

Among the thousands of incomprehensible wishes, one suddenly stood out—simple, clear, refreshing.

“I want a girlfriend. The kind I love, and who loves me back.”

Pure stream in a sea of sludge.

“Hmm?”

She tapped the message lightly.
The wisher’s background info flooded into her mind like a tidal wave…

“Waaah, so he’s been single for years and just wants a partner… What do I do? There are six billion people on Earth—how am I supposed to find the right girlfriend for him…”

“Don’t be stupid,” her senpai said, sipping coffee behind her. “You don’t need to pick carefully. Just grab someone near him.”

“Oh yeah, true.”

“Wishes are lifetime guarantees—we have to be careful. Some people wish for tons of money, but if there’s no money or opportunity around them, it might take years to fulfill. You can’t babysit them forever; you just push opportunities their way when they appear.”
Senpai reminded her, “Once you accept a wish, you have to grant it. Failing would ruin our reputation. We maintain a 100% fulfillment rate here.”

“…So what if we accept a wish we can’t grant?”

“Kill them and silence them, obviously.”
She took a calm sip of coffee. “If he can’t find a girlfriend, we just kill him. Then we keep our perfect five-star rating.”

“Holy shit, you’re right.”

The junior goddess studied the wish again and made a pained face.

“But… there isn’t a single girl around him. What do I do?”

“Be flexible.” Senpai said coolly. “This one’s yours to handle… Remember what I just said? Don’t overthink it. What do you think you should do?”

The junior goddess froze, racking her brains, utterly lost.

Suddenly she slapped her thigh. “I’ve got an epic idea! There are no girls around him, but there are four good bros, right? So I’ll just turn all four bros into girls! Instant harem—his chances of finding a girlfriend go from zero to a hundred percent!”

Senpai looked at her with genuine approval.

That’s the spirit.

This kid might just take my job someday.

The goddess wearing the laurel crown slowly closed her golden eyes.
Her snow-white robes draped over endless clouds; her expression was full of compassion.

At the tail end of the meteor shower, among countless absurd wishes,
this young intern goddess picked the one she could understand.

…

Life after sealing his heart was simple: eat, hit the gym, repeat.

At first it felt exhausting, but once he got used to it, he found he quite liked the routine.

Drenched in sweat, cooled by the night breeze, Lu Hang headed toward his little apartment.
Evening skies painted with sunset clouds left him feeling refreshed.

As he walked, he noticed someone standing under the streetlamp near his building—blonde hair, green eyes, hoodie, hands in pockets, like she was out for a stroll.
Lu Hang passed her, thinking, Since when did a foreigner move into the neighborhood?

A few steps later, something felt off.
The woman was staring straight at him.

He glanced at her twice.
The stare was weird enough that he decided to just walk past.

Then she spoke.

“Lu Hang, right?”

He stopped dead. Wary. “How do you know my name?”

The woman kept her hands in her pockets like an old man out walking the dog and lazily replied,

“I’m the goddess of this world. Of course I know.”

Lu Hang looked baffled.
Yeah, and I’m Zeus—wanna fight about it?

He frowned, studying her face again.
Goddess or not, she was definitely pretty—blonde hair, green eyes.
Before he could speak, she put on a look of profound pity.

“You’re thinking, ‘What kind of backwater goddess wears a hoodie out on the street,’ aren’t you?”

Lu Hang jolted. “How did you—”

“And yesterday during the meteor shower, you made a wish. You said you wanted a girlfriend.”

The memory of that cringe wish hit him like a truck. Panic rising: “You know about that too!?”

“You made the wish to me. For the next four years of university, my job is to get you a girlfriend. It’s my first internship task—I can’t screw it up. I’m here to inform you: you have to follow my arrangements completely.”
The goddess looked dead serious. “That’s why I came to you.”

“You’re saying you’re a goddess?”

“Yep.”

“The kind from the heavens?”

“Guaranteed.”

Lu Hang looked utterly unconvinced.

He’d never heard of a myth where a goddess wears flip-flops and just strolls up to chat.

“So, first mission…” The goddess pondered.

After a long think, she pulled a single volume of manga out of her pocket.
Lu Hang caught the title and felt his soul leave his body:
There’s Something Wrong With Moving In With The Ice Queen On The First Day Of School.

“Here’s the deal,” she said like it was no big thing. “Within two days, find a girl and move in with her. Otherwise, you die.”
She spread her hands innocently. “Nothing I can do—god realm has KPIs. We need to maintain a five-star rating and 100% wish fulfillment. If your wish is too hard or you refuse to cooperate, the only option is to eliminate you.”

“So that’s how you keep five stars? Anyone who’d leave a bad review just disappears?”

“Pretty much.”

Lu Hang’s brain blue-screened.

First day out on the street and a flip-flop-wearing goddess shows up saying she’ll grant his wish or kill him if he fails.

Sure, he was a pure, clueless college student who didn’t understand lectures and admitted his brain was smooth as a cutting board—but he wasn’t that gullible.
“How do I know you’re actually a god? What if my bros put you up to this prank?”

The goddess didn’t waste words.
With a look of infinite compassion, she pointed at him.

Immense pressure crashed down.
Something vanished from his body in an instant—and something new appeared.

“What did you do to meow?”

“I turned you into a 145-cm cat-eared beast girl,” she said, still looking sad for the world. “If you refuse to help me pass my internship, you’ll stay like that forever.”

“Meow meow meow!?”

“You thought this was your bros pranking you, right? Think carefully—do you really want one of them showing up later to ‘follow the strategy guide’ and date you?”

Lu Hang reached up—two fluffy ears.
His hearing suddenly went quadrophonic.
Catching his reflection in a shop window, he nearly fainted on the spot.
His head looked like it wouldn’t even know which way to wear gaming headphones.

“Change me back meow!”

“Believe me now?”

“I believe you meow!”

“Convinced?”

“Completely meow!”

She pointed again.
The weight lifted; a glance at the window showed the old Lu Hang was back.
He let out a long breath, then a chill crawled up his spine.
All this time he’d failed to become a Sigma male… and instead became a catgirl first.

“Anyway, that’s the deal. My contact is already in your WeChat. Two days. I want to see you living with a girl. You’ve heard the penalty for failure.”
She flipped through the manga casually. The title now looked like his own epitaph, and he shuddered, wondering what kind of cliché torment she was mining from it.

“But I’ll give you some startup funds. Here.”

His phone dinged.

Alipay notification: +20,000 RMB.

Lu Hang stared. “You sent that?”

“Yup.”

“Holy shit, that’s a lot?”

“Finish the mission and the rewards will be even bigger.”
She flashed a thumbs-up. “I’ve said everything I needed to. I’m out—you get to work.”

With that, her figure blurred like someone had slapped a fade filter on her.
Under Lu Hang’s stunned gaze, she slowly dissolved into thin air.

Only then did it sink in: normal humans don’t just vanish into nothing.

So she really was a goddess!

Ding-dong.

Phone again.

“Live with a girl in her prime for at least one week… Just in case you forget, I wrote it here.”

“Rewards will be generous.”

Unknown contact.

Remark: “Omniscient Omnipotent Goddess”

He had never added her.

She had simply appeared in his contacts.