Chapter 1: The targets of state allocation are big stars
Parallel World, University Dormitory
“Holy sht! Did you guys just see the news? The government’s gonna assign partners to us goblins!”
The guy in Bed One yanked open the curtain with a transparent-clad anime girl on it, shouting excitedly to his dorm mates below.
“Fat Bro, you drunk or what? You believe this crap over me being the First Emperor of Qin? Get real, man, what the fck!”
The guy in Bed Two, the clickety-clack keyboard wizard, was, as usual, hammering away in a chaotic symphony amidst digital gunfire.
“It’s just a human trap. Wild saintesses don’t just pop up in forests. Don’t go throwing away goblin heads for nothing.”
The skinny dude in Bed Three muttered while texting a girl from campus who sold gym memberships: You there?
Back when she’d approached him to add him on WeChat, he thought she was into him. But ever since he got that gym card from her, she’d gone cold. Probably just busy, right?
“Can’t you guys think bigger? Be a sigma male or something. Women? Pfft, I’ve dated five, six, seven, eight of ‘em. It’s whatever.”
Finally, Lin Lu in Bed Four, busy listing a pack of condoms won from a mall raffle for same-city trade on Xianyu, tossed in a casual comment to join the heated chat of his new dorm mates. Didn’t want them thinking he was some aloof jerk.
“Old Four, save that bullsht for someone else. Don’t fool yourself.”
“Yeah, Old Four, play your games, but don’t play your heart. We’re cool, just laugh it off.”
“…”
The trio teased him, not buying a word of Lin Lu’s claims, thinking he was just blowing hot air. Lin Lu just chuckled along.
“But the news I mentioned is real. I sent it to the dorm group chat. Check it out.”
After Fat Bro shared it, Keyboard Wizard and Skinny Bro didn’t think much of it at first, but with a sliver of hope, they clicked the link. Lin Lu, curious, also opened it to skim the latest news from the state broadcaster:
Times have changed. Singlehood is on the rise. People are less willing to date, marry, or have kids, leading to a sharp drop in marriage and birth rates, ushering in an era of low birth rates.
To address this global issue, multiple countries have jointly passed a new law, mandating a legal obligation for citizens:
Single adults, barring special circumstances, will be randomly assigned an age-appropriate partner of the opposite sex for mandatory dating, aiming for “marriage within three years, kids within five.”
As the law is in its early, experimental phase, only a small number of citizens in each region will be selected for this trial.
In short, a handful of single adults would be randomly paired up.
“Jesus, Jade Emperor, please! My only wish is a blonde, twin-tailed, tsundere loli—legal, of course! I’d even live in a mansion and drive a Cullinan for her!” Fat Bro was already kneeling on his bed, praying.
Keyboard Wizard set down his virtual weapons, bowing to Buddha amid the digital chaos. “Buddha, please assign Miss Keke to me. I’d be her dog forever.”
Skinny Bro forgot all about the gym girl, bursting out, “Piss off! You think you’re worthy of being Miss Keke’s dog? You fake fan, streaming pirated songs. I’ve got her signed album, and last time at the signing event, she smiled at me. Probably too shy to talk with all those people around…”
“Miss Keke?” Lin Lu cut in.
“What, Old Four, you don’t know Su Keke? She’s the new-gen singer who’s swept every major music show and competition these past few years. Writes her own lyrics, composes, even arranges her songs. And get this—she’s only 20, just two years older than us. Don’t tell me you spent all of high school buried in books, ignoring the world?”
Lin Lu rubbed his chin, dead serious. “Su Keke? Of course I know her. She’s my ex-girlfriend.”
Goddamn, this guy’s flexing again!
“Old Four, just ‘cause you’re a bit tall and handsome doesn’t mean you can daydream like that. You need money, too. Keke’s in showbiz, surrounded by hot guys all the time. She’s probably bored of them and might even prefer someone unique and soulful like me…” Skinny Bro checked himself in the mirror.
Lin Lu sighed. “Fine, I’ll come clean. I used to be a rich second-gen, but a few years back, my family ran into some really bad people. We went bankrupt. So, I need you guys to transfer me 300 bucks on WeChat. When I make my comeback, I’ll treat you to Wallace’s every day—no need for those discount vouchers.”
The trio burst out laughing at Lin Lu’s antics, filling the dorm with a cheerful vibe. It brought them closer in an instant. Guys bond fast—some boasting, sharing spicy pics, or gaming together does the trick.
Just then, Lin Lu’s phone pinged. He glanced at it, expecting a message from the condom buyer about a meetup time. Instead, it was from the National Marriage Bureau:
Mr. Lin Lu, the state has assigned you a partner. Please meet by 12:00 PM at Coco Milk Tea Shop, Room 106, on Dongchuan Road. Partner assignment is a legal obligation. Violators will face administrative or criminal penalties based on severity.
Lin Lu blinked in shock. “Oh no, kids, I think I’ve been chosen.”
“You lucky bastard, chosen for what?!”
The three rushed over, snatching his phone. Ten seconds later, the dorm echoed with howls like apes in a jungle, filled with regret for not doing more good deeds or helping old ladies cross the street.
“If I’d known, I wouldn’t have messed up with Apron Mom and Little Li’s Mom the other day, sob…”
“I swear, watching My Little Pony last week was just to honor my childhood…”
“And I only looked at that biology book’s Protein Queen to prep for tutoring…”
Hell’s empty, and the demons are right here. If you don’t go to hell, who will?
But Lin Lu wasn’t exactly thrilled. What if she’s a tank?
…
…
The address wasn’t far from their Tianhai University. Guess the system’s “random” pairing wasn’t totally random but based on their circumstances. Otherwise, how could you meet up if one’s in the south and the other’s in the north?
The address was likely set by the Marriage Bureau staff. The law was announced, and boom, implemented right away. Talk about efficiency.
Right on time, Lin Lu stepped into the private room. A tall girl sat in a coffee chair, scrolling her phone. Striking blonde hair, a black choker, silver earrings, and a trendy off-shoulder top with a short skirt.
Lin Lu’s brows furrowed slightly. A party girl, maybe?*
Then she looked up, and they locked eyes, sizing each other up for a moment…
“Lin Lu!?”
“Su… Keke?”
His assigned partner was his ex-girlfriend!