Chapter 11: Rationalized Defense Mechanisms.

Should she leave?

The thought of retreating surfaced in her mind. She clearly realized that her first impression had been completely ruined by the lord’s thorough disgust. If she stayed any longer, what awaited her would probably be nothing but humiliation and torment. Leaving as soon as possible might spare her some suffering.

This idea spread through her heart, leaving her caught in a dilemma. She raised her head and subconsciously looked toward the direction of the room where Lan Mo was. If I tell little Mo everything that happened tonight, she will definitely comfort me and then leave with me without hesitation, right?

Imagining Lan Mo gently hugging her to comfort her and then choosing to leave together without any reluctance, the corners of her mouth lifted slightly, revealing a faint smile. The pain on her body seemed to lighten, and the fear in her heart eased a little.

But the next second, as if she had thought of something, her expression turned desolate again. Everything was caused by her own cleverness, and it was also because she had disobeyed the lord’s words that she was abused. Just because of her own mistake, should she make little Mo give up the life of being a maid here and leave with her to go back to the refugee district to fight for steamed buns? That would be too unfair to little Mo. It was clearly her own fault.

……

Yes, it was because she made a mistake that the lord punished her. It was also because of her own actions that the lord grew disgusted with her, forcing her to become a pet. Lin Yuxi raised her head with some agitation, accidentally pressing her nose hard against the ice crystal.

“Hiss, it hurts.”

The pain made her instinctively raise her hand to touch the bridge of her nose. She discovered that the swelling had gone down significantly.

“It doesn’t seem swollen anymore?”

She breathed out in relief, feeling much lighter. This wasn’t just because her nose looked less miserable. When facing little Mo, she could say she fell and hit it, so little Mo wouldn’t worry. More importantly, everything she suffered today was punishment for her own mistake, not deliberate targeted abuse. So as long as she didn’t make any more mistakes in the future, she wouldn’t suffer like this again, and she could still live a better life than outside.

With this thought, the tightly wound string of suppression in her heart finally snapped. Her exhausted mind relaxed, and drowsiness quietly crept in. She put the remaining ice crystal into her mouth and swallowed it, then slowly closed her eyes and fell into a light sleep.

……

She struggled to pry open her sticky eyelids. A sore, heavy feeling came from her eyes. Blinking her dazed eyes, what greeted her was the white porcelain floor. At some point, she had slid down from leaning against the wall and was now lying on the ground.

Her whole body felt stiff and cold. A dull ache spread through her joints. The cold, hard dampness of the floor lingered at the tip of her nose. After staring blankly for a moment, she slowly came back to her senses. Is it dawn already?

She supported her heavy limbs and sat up against the wall. She wanted to stand up directly, but the aching waist and back along with her sore limbs left her without any strength. So tired… It got light so quickly. It felt like I only slept for ten minutes.

She looked at the bright but empty hall in front of her. It seemed the sky had just brightened. Everything from last night was still vivid in her mind. The pain on her body had faded a lot, but her fear of the lord made her unsure what she would face today.

After resting for five minutes, she forced herself to stand up again. Her legs made cracking sounds. Fortunately, it was only because she was too exhausted and tired. She wasn’t so weak that she couldn’t even stand.

She shook her numb hands, subconsciously patted off nonexistent dust from her clothes, smoothed her hair, and then leaned against the wall again to relieve her body’s fatigue.

It seemed it was still too early. Neither the lord nor Lan Mo and the others showed any sign of waking up. During this time, Lin Yuxi alternated between standing and leaning against the wall. When her legs started to ache, she slowly sat down. After a while, she stood up again. She repeated this four or five times until a sound came from the stairs.

“Thud, thud thud—”

Hearing the footsteps on the stairs, Lin Yuxi hurriedly stood up and held her breath slightly. As the footsteps grew closer, a slipper came into view first. Jun Linqiu, holding a steaming cup in one hand, walked down the stairs.

After coming down, she turned on the lights, walked straight to the sofa and sat down. She brought the cup to her lips, took a sip, and then placed it on the coffee table. The moment Lin Yuxi saw the slippers, she quickly lowered her head and turned her gaze to the side, trying her best to reduce her presence.

Fortunately, Jun Linqiu didn’t notice her, or perhaps she did but simply didn’t care. Time passed minute by minute. The drifting aroma of coffee made her unable to resist raising her head slightly. As her gaze moved upward, she saw that Jun Linqiu was still reading the same book from yesterday. On the coffee table in front of her was the steaming cup, and the fragrance seemed to be coming from it.

The scent stimulated her mouth, making saliva continuously secrete. She couldn’t help swallowing. The hunger that had been suppressed in her body was completely awakened, and a dull pain came from her stomach. So hungry… If only I could have one sip.

This thought surfaced in her mind, making her swallow again.

“Want a drink?”

Jun Linqiu’s cold voice suddenly rang out, startling her. She quickly shifted her gaze away from the white ceramic mug and looked at Jun Linqiu. The other party was staring straight at her, her face expressionless and showing no emotion.

This only made her feel a surge of panic and unease. Her face turned pale instantly, and her heartbeat accelerated. She didn’t know how to answer, nor what would happen after she answered, but she still nodded. Her intuition told her that if she denied it or didn’t answer, there would only be worse consequences.