Chapter 17: I still miss you a Little

At two in the afternoon, Lin Yuhan pushed open her front door, slipping off her shoes to reveal white stockings.

“Sweetie, you’re back!”

Her mother, a gentle woman, was watching TV and snacking on sunflower seeds. She smiled warmly but froze as Lin Yuhan, looking lost, walked straight to her bedroom.

Once inside, she locked the door and collapsed onto the bed.

“…Hah.” Moments later, she rolled over, staring blankly at the ceiling.

“He really… doesn’t know me.”

Of course.

In her last life, they met in college.

At the freshman gala, she took the stage as the emcee and student representative, radiant in a beautiful dress and perfect makeup.

Like all her suitors, Meng Zhi approached her after seeing her shine, trying to add her as a friend and get closer.

At first, she saw him as just another admirer. She never imagined he’d leave the cruelest mark on her life.

The memory alone made her shiver.

Encouraged by him, she started writing novels, a childhood interest, and gradually became obsessed.

Addicted. Reckless.

But after a year, two years, her efforts went unnoticed.

Still, she kept writing. No matter how obscure or self-indulgent her stories, Meng Zhi seemed to read her heart in every line.

She loved that feeling.

Loved her words being read, understood, cherished.

She wished more people loved her writing than loved her.

But even if it was just Meng Zhi, she was happy.

…Until that sole confidant snuffed out her last hope.

After his suicide, Lin Yuhan felt like she’d lost her sense of light. Even at noon under a blazing sun, she couldn’t step outside; the world was pitch-black.

She stopped going out, stopped contacting anyone. Her messy room filled with trash and instant noodle containers.

Until her parents found her and dragged her home.

Her mother, sobbing, held her, saying, “He ruined you.” That was when Lin Yuhan first questioned herself.

Was I wrong from the start?

Maybe I shouldn’t have stubbornly written, disappointing and hurting my parents.

Her obsession and defiance hurt them, hurt herself.

And drove him to his death.

“…I’m sorry.” Lin Yuhan covered her eyes with her arm, murmuring as if in a dream.

“I don’t know who gave me this second chance.”

“But this time, I won’t disturb your life.”

“Without you, I can still live well. Follow my parents’ wishes or write stories just for myself in my spare time.”

“Without me… you’ll live happier than last time, right?”

“Let’s both live our lives well.”

…But.

She curled up, her dim eyes glinting through strands of hair.

I still miss you a little.

Ding. Her phone chimed. A message from a friend: “Yuhan, wanna chill before the exam? Drinks tonight?”

“You guys… the exam’s in a few days.”

“Come on, with your grades, you’re set for a 985 school without studying.”

“But—” She typed, then deleted it.

Lin Yuhan wasn’t big on drinking.

But after seeing Meng Zhi today, his image haunted her even with her eyes closed.

A drink with friends might help her sleep.

After a moment, she replied, “Okay.”

At seven p.m., as the evening news ticked to its end, Meng Zhi’s door rang with a knock.

“Alright, alright, stop knocking.”

He opened it to find Feng Xiyao, in shorts, a T-shirt, and a cap, clutching her stomach. “Starving… figure out what’s for dinner.”

“Takeout just arrived. Fried chicken. Want some?”

“How’d you know I love fried chicken?” Her eyes lit up.

Meng Zhi scoffed, tossing out, “Eat it or don’t,” and slipped on plastic gloves to dig in. Feng Xiyao grabbed gloves and started snatching pieces.

“I want the boneless ones!”

“Eat what you want, but don’t grab what I’ve bitten!”

…There was still time before nine.

Feng Xiyao said her gig was at Banyan Bar, not far from school. They could eat slowly and walk over.

“Wait till you see me on stage. My cool vibe’s gonna blow you away.”

She cracked open a cola, tilting her head back. Meng Zhi watched her throat move, her jawline sharp, hair tucked behind her ear.

“Phew~ Ice-cold cola in summer is the best.” She wiped her lips, grinning. “Want some?”

“Nope.”

“I’m not asking you to drink mine. I’ll open another.”

“Nope.”

“Even if you wanted to drink mine, I wouldn’t mind…”

“No. Way.”

Feng Xiyao pouted, then snatched his chicken and took a big bite.

“…What, you a dog?”

Meng Zhi laughed despite himself. “Only know how to steal my food?”

“I am* a puppy. What you gonna do about it?”

She stuck out her tongue, barking twice for effect.

In their last life, he’d have pinned her to the couch by now, tickling her and smacking her playfully until she begged for mercy, limp and laughing.

He’d gotten used to teasing her like that.

But now, he could only watch her provoke him, unable to retaliate like before.

Sighing, he decided to let it slide.

Just deal with it. What else could he do?

Seeing no reaction, Feng Xiyao grinned slyly, kneeling on the couch, wiggling her hips and whining like a puppy. “Master, master~ Gimme another bite~ Ah~”

Her lips parted slightly, her tongue faintly visible.

Meng Zhi’s eye twitched. Unable to take it, he shoved a drumstick in her mouth, watching her choke and mumble. “Eat till you’re a waddling fatty.”

“Then my brother’s gotta take care of me for life.”

“Dream on. Begone, demon!”

“Who’re you calling a hag? I’ll bite you!”

“Ow! You actually bit me, you little—!”