Chapter 22: A Gentle Farewell.

“I’m thinking of returning to the territory.”

After leaving the Marcel Marquis residence, I sit alone in my office chair.
I’m not doing anything—just sitting there, staring blankly.

I glance sideways at the pile of work waiting to be done, but my hand refuses to reach for the documents.

Haa…
A small sigh escapes me.

No good.

I cover my face with both hands and close my eyes.
But all that surfaces is Rachel’s face.

What’s happened to me?

I’ve never felt this kind of vague, unshakable anxiety before.

Returning to the territory…
It’s a good choice for her.
Her health has recovered enough that she can finally do the things she wants.
Going out into town, visiting street stalls, entering cafés, ordering whatever she likes at a diner.

Those will surely be her first real experiences.
And she’ll smile again—eyes sparkling with joy.

Just thinking about it warms my heart.
But at the same time… why does the center of my chest ache so painfully?

Will she… will Rachel…
return to the capital—to me—even after going back to the territory?

The thought makes me shake my head weakly.

No… I have no confidence.

Confidence.
I’ve never once lacked it before.
If something was missing, I simply worked to fill the gap.
If the outcome wasn’t what I wanted, I simply moved things until it was.

That’s how I’ve always thought.
That’s how I’ve always lived.

But now… I don’t even know what effort I should make.

──Knock, knock.

“It’s Cyril. Theodore-sama is here.”

“…Let him in.”

The knock pulls me back.
I straighten from my slouched position against the chair back.
Cyril’s voice drifts through the door; I answer on reflex.

The door opens.
My childhood friend enters in his usual black robe—no glance my way, no greeting.
He strides straight to the center of the room, drops heavily onto the sofa, crosses his long legs, and finally turns his gaze toward me.

Theodore’s eyes widen slightly.
The corners of his mouth lift.
He looks like he’s just found something very interesting.

“Heh… something happened, huh?
What is it?
The only thing that could make you look like that is Rachel-san, right?”

“…Not in the mood to talk.”

“Whoa—what’s with the sulking?
Wait—is it lovesickness?”

Theodore rises from the sofa and walks over.
He plants one hand on my desk, leans in, and peers straight into my face.
I turn away to avoid his stare.

“Shut up.”

“So childish.
Late first love hitting hard?”

He grins teasingly right in front of me.
I scowl reflexively.
But I don’t bother trying to hide it from him.

First love…
Yeah.
It really is my first love.

I only realized it recently.
When Rachel and I walked together in the Marquis Marcel garden—my world changed.

Everything that had been monochrome suddenly burst into vivid color.
The flowers shone brilliantly.
The sky’s blue became piercing.
And Rachel’s smile… I couldn’t look away.

Her voice—soft, pleasant—filled my ears.
Everything else disappeared.

Ah… so this is love.
It sank straight into my chest like a stone dropping into still water.

But at the same time… I didn’t know what to do with these feelings.

Since then, in the gaps between work, just before sleep, during meals—her face drifts into my mind unbidden.

Would she like this book?
Would she enjoy these sweets?
Is her condition still stable?

Even just a glimpse of her face would be enough.

I want to see her.
I want to be with her.

If I truly care about her…
shouldn’t I grant her wish and dissolve the engagement?
Wouldn’t that let her live more peacefully?

Being the Crown Prince’s fiancée is nothing but a burden to her now.
She never wanted it.

Before her illness, I barely even looked at her properly.
I called myself a man who couldn’t see her true worth.
Surely there are others—people who noticed her goodness from the beginning, who could love her properly, who could give her everything she truly desires.

Someone more suitable than me.

But even knowing that… I can’t do it.

I can’t let her go.

And hating myself for that feeling…
Maybe I’m the one hurting her most of all.

“So… are we still continuing the search for the cause of her mana depletion?”

“Of course.”

“I’m curious about that phenomenon too, so I’ll keep helping like before.
But investigating the dark spirit comes first.”

“Right.
How the Church announces it will change Rachel’s life too.”

“…She’s going back to the territory, huh.”

At those words, I lift my gaze to Theodore’s face.
So he already knew.
He shrugs as though he’s read my mind.

“Being in the capital right now isn’t the best for her, is it?”

“…I think it’s a good choice too.”

“Then send her off with a smile.”

Heat surges through my head.
My clenched fist slams down on the desk—thud.

“I know!”

“Yeah, you know.
You know, and that’s exactly why you’re scared of her leaving.”

My fist trembles on the desk.
Then the strength drains away.
A weak murmur escapes—my voice, yet not mine at all.

“What should I do…”

“Send her off with a smile.
And keep searching for the cause of her mana depletion like you have been.”

“Of course I’ll continue.”

“The choice is hers.
Even so… make sure you’re the first one she can turn to if she ever needs help.
Be ready for that.”

I lift my eyes.
The face before me isn’t teasing anymore.
It’s my friend—smiling with quiet concern.

“You’re a good guy.”

“Yeah, I think so too.
If there were someone like me around, I’d get married in a heartbeat.”

A laugh slips out—”Haha”—before I can stop it.

“You’re right.
That’s exactly what I should do.”

Theodore gives a relieved smile and nods once without another word.

“For now, I’ll ask the Marquis to add one of my people to Rachel’s guard detail.”

“Huh?”

“If something dangerous happens to her and we don’t know about it right away, we can’t help her, can we?”

Theodore stares at me blankly.
What’s with that dumbfounded look?
But… he’s right.
Now that I’ve decided, I need to choose someone.
It has to be someone exceptionally skilled.

Should it be him? Or him?
I run through several candidates in my mind.

Theodore—who had been frozen in shock—suddenly snaps back to himself with a startled expression.
Then he bursts into laughter again, clutching his stomach.

“Haha! Yeah… that’s exactly you.”

“…That’s kind of rude.”

Yeah.

For now… I’ll support her so her world can become even brighter.

And this lingering anxiety…
I’ll look away from it for now.
There’s a mountain of things I need to do.

But there’s one thing I have to take care of before Rachel leaves for the territory.

The realization hits me.
Once Theodore leaves, I’ll write a letter to Rachel first.