Chapter 4: That promise is for me.
– I’ve been outmaneuvered! When did she get ahead of me?
“You think you can just leave me behind? Not a chance!”
With her left fist on her hip and her right index finger pointed at me with a dramatic zubish!, the three-year-old declares boldly.
I wonder who this toddler really is, but with that smug, pose-striking face, I can’t bring myself to voice the question—she’d probably snap back, “A villain has no name to give!”
“You look like you can’t fathom why I’m here, huh?”
Snorting with a mocking laugh, the toddler slowly approaches, closing in on me.
Her smug face, glowing in the dappled sunlight, practically screams, “Ask me now. Ask how I did it. I’ll explain, so just ask!”
…If I take the bait, I feel like I’ll lose.
Prying further and getting dragged into her self-important ramblings sounds like a hassle, so I’ll just play it off as a coincidence.
“Hey, fancy meeting you here…”
“Didn’t realize you were so obsessed with becoming a toad.”
I plaster on my brightest smile to greet our “chance” reunion, but the toddler responds with a chilling smile, her eyes devoid of warmth.
– Oh no!
“Why?! How are you here?!”
“…”
The toddler stays silent…
“No way! How did you do it?!”
“…”
The toddler glares at me with cold eyes…
“…I’m sorry. Please, I’d be honored to hear your explanation, so spare me the toad thing!”
Unable to withstand her icy reaction, I end up groveling for forgiveness.
The toddler, looking utterly exasperated, sighs, “Honestly…” and raises her right index finger in front of her face.
“I know… a shortcut.”
– Her eyes sparkle with mischief, and she flashes a playful, triumphant grin.
“…That’s it?”
“For a fool like you, that’s enough. More importantly, why did you try to run from me?”
Hands on hips, cheeks puffed out, the toddler makes her displeasure clear as she questions me.
I’m not naive enough to believe there’s a convenient shortcut in the middle of this forest.
There’s got to be some trick to how she got ahead, but I can’t figure it out, and trying to escape again would likely end the same way.
Plus, I’m out of breath—I doubt I could run half as far now.
Escape seems impossible, so I give up and explain I wanted to secretly contract a spirit to surprise people, avoiding mention of the rule-breaking.
When I say I wanted to shock others with my spirit contract, her eyes light up, and she leans in, demanding, “Explain in detail!”
“Trying to surprise people and leaving me out? You’re not just shallow—you’re foolish. Who do you think I am?”
“Well… you tell me…”
Come to think of it, she called herself a “prank-loving kid.”
Maybe she’s a trickster youkai or a mischievous fairy who loves startling people?
“If you insist, I could be the one to contract with you.”
With an insufferably smug grin, she puffs out her tiny chest, thumping it with a fist as if to say, “Bring it on!”
She boasts she’s on a different level from the spirits humans contract with, claiming a contract with her would shock even the gods.
But unlike a zashiki-warashi that brings good luck, I’d rather not deal with a demon who’d sell me to hobgoblins.
When I politely decline, she glares at me with a sulky pout.
“Besides, I’ve already got a summoning magic circle ready.”
“A contract with a spirit summoned by that thing won’t end well.”
I show her the magic circle from my backpack, and she warns me to stop, her face still grumpy.
According to her, spirits are mostly selfish, temperamental brats who’ll toy with you unless you’re a perfect match.
“…I see.”
“Why are you nodding while staring at me?!”
– Selfish, temperamental, and toying with people? That’s literally you. You’re talking about yourself, right?
Unaware of her own description, she bristles indignantly.
I barely stop myself from retorting—she might destroy the magic circle if I provoke her.
Ignoring the toddler, who huffs and looks away muttering, “Don’t blame me if it goes wrong,” I prepare the circle.
I choose a shaded spot to make the glow visible, securing the corners with stones to keep it steady.
This world’s magic doesn’t fuss over ley lines or star alignments, which is convenient.
Touching the circle with my right hand, I channel magic, and the parchment begins to glow faintly white.
I’ll show this toddler what’s what.
No incantations needed—just pour in enough magic, and the circle activates.
Magic circles exist to skip lengthy spell chants, after all.
As I pour in more magic, the white light brightens, and when it feels like it can’t take more, it flashes blindingly like a camera.
– Did it work?
As the light fades… nothing’s there.
“Pfft…”
I glance over to see the toddler, back turned, shoulders shaking.
She’s clearly holding in laughter.
My confident refusal of her contract followed by a summoning failure must’ve really tickled her.
No big deal—I’ve got plenty of magic left.
I’ll try again and again!
I activate the circle once more.
But no spirit appears.
The toddler crouches, snorting “bububu” while smacking the ground with her hand.
Laughing that hard at someone’s failure is just cruel, isn’t it?
As I shoot her a resentful glare, she wipes her tears and stands.
“You think a spirit will show up without an offering?”
Huh? …An offering?
Seeing my blank expression, the toddler explains.
My circle isn’t designed for a specific spirit, so you need an offering to give it direction.
It’s like fishing without bait if you don’t prepare something the spirit likes.
When she asks if I think a girl would follow me without a gift, implying I’m some self-proclaimed hotshot, I can only hang my head in shame.
To her, I must look like a wannabe cool guy—my face burns with embarrassment.
I’m starting to awaken to the thrill of humiliation.
But an offering out of nowhere?
I have bread in my backpack for lunch, but when I show it, she says, “If you want to contract a yeast spirit, I won’t stop you.”
I pass—yeast spirits are just… yeast, right?
The valedictorian has a honey spirit, and while I don’t dismiss food-related spirits, aiming to be a baker as a magic academy student might get me expelled.
She also stops me from using nearby flowers as an offering.
They’re meaningless unless they’re something I cherish.
Spirits are drawn to the sentiment behind the offering, so you need to show your devotion with something precious to win them over.
It feels oddly human, like spending three months’ salary, but when I suggest a valuable item might work, she scolds me for equating it to human greed.
“Something precious out of the blue? You’re not saying I should offer my soul, right?”
“Offering a soul is the greatest taboo against the gods’ will. No spirit would accept it.”
So spirits don’t take souls.
But then, what should I offer…?
“If you’ve got nothing, why not offer your ‘first’?”
“—!”
With an innocent expression, finger to cheek, the toddler makes a shockingly adult suggestion.
“F-first…? Like, what kind of… ‘first’ should I offer?”
“Offer a ‘first’ you cherish. Stop getting so excited and leaning in like that.”
Oh no, I shouldn’t have pressed a three-year-old on that.
If someone saw, I’d be reported as a creep.
But… ‘first’? Not a kiss at this point, right?
Maybe… my ‘graduation’?
With a beautiful spirit lady…
Bound by a contract, always by my side…
Farewell, innocent boyhood. Today, I become a man!
Gufufufu… I can’t stop laughing.
I’ll become an adult before those who called me “goblin” and make them call me “Professor Moronidas”!
“Stop that creepy laugh already.”
Oops… my fantasies got out of hand.
The toddler’s looking at me like I’m moldy laundry.
Okay, time to cool down.
I’m no cherry boy anymore—time to be cool, dandy, elegant, and hard-boiled.
“Hmph… but how do you offer a ‘first,’ three-year-old?”
“…Say your name and the offering while using the circle, and the spirit will understand.”
“Got it. Simple and clear—nice answer.”
“…”
Ignoring her lukewarm stare, I kneel, touch the circle, and channel magic again.
“I, Moronidas Aray, offer my ‘first.’ Spirit, come from the world’s edge, the abyss of time!”
The circle glows crimson, not white.
– Success!
A spirit manifests in the crimson light.
– Crimson drill-like vertical curls…
– Soulful eyes framed by long lashes…
– Flawless skin and red-painted lips…
– A bulging something wrapped in crimson… boomerang pants?
“Nooooooo!”
A scream I can’t believe came from me echoes through the academy forest.
Instinctive terror drives me to scramble back.
Emerging from the crimson light is a spirit with a beautiful woman’s face on a steel-like male body—a shoddy photoshopped mess.
“Heh… offering your ‘first’ to me at that age? Quite the sinful kid.”
“Kukuku… as planned, the [Crimson Thorn] took the bait.”
What… did she say?
I turn to see the toddler covering her mouth, smirking like a scheming villain who’s pulled off a plot.
“You tricked me! You set me up!”
“Don’t be ridiculous. Didn’t I summon a spirit as you wanted?”
“Feeling uneasy? Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of both your ‘firsts.’”
The spirit she calls [Crimson Thorn] has thorns extending from—ugh, somewhere I don’t want to think about—entwining my legs.
Pulled by the thorns, my light body can’t resist and gets dragged along.
“That’s cruel! Too much! Help me!”
“It’s bad manners for me, a non-party, to interfere in a contract.”
“It’s fine. You’ll soon understand what it means to accept.”
No! I didn’t guard my purity for 29 years as Sukumi Tanishi and Moronidas to offer it to some gay spirit!
“Please! I’ll do anything! I’ll even offer my soul!”
“Well, if you’re willing to contract with me…”
“It’s simple. Just surrender to me…”
A contract with the toddler? I’ll do it!
If she’ll save me, I’d make a deal with a demon!
“Let’s contract! No, please, do it! Right now!”
My last hope in this increasingly homoerotic world.
Like a soul grasping at a thread in hell, I desperately reach for the toddler.
“You’ll really do anything I say?”
“Anything I can do!”
“I hate being alone. I want you by my side always.”
“I’ll always be by your side!”
“You have to cherish me forever.”
“I’ll cherish you forever!”
“Then, if you swear truthfully to this oath and seek a contract with [Creeping Prank], take my hand.”
A tiny hand is offered with a beaming smile.
The moment I grasp it tightly, the thorns binding my legs shatter.