Chapter 40: The beginning of all emotions is loving yourself
When the crystal rain finally ebbed, the warning script on the parchment rearranged itself into elegant embossed gold lettering:
‘Phase One Resonance of the Heart’s Crown: Complete’
‘Current Synchronization: 37%’
‘Unlocked Ability: Emotional Feedback (Reverses Purification of Corrupted Crystallizations)’
Liang Lai suddenly caught a faint sob, tracing the silver threads’ pull to her own chest—where old scars she’d thought long healed now wept faint violet crystal dust in the moonlight, sealing the original owner’s lingering self-destructive moods.
Beautiful enough to shatter the heart.
She finally understood why she’d always overtaxed herself before—like trying to pour fine wine into a leaky vessel; no matter how potent the emotion, it bled away through cracks of self-denial.
And now…
Liang Lai pressed lightly to her heart, where a newborn crystal pulsed.
So, the start of all emotion… was loving oneself.
A question Liang Lai had never pondered.
She loved the children she picked up, loved those around her who’d lent a hand, loved all the kind souls, loved the whole wide world—yet forgot how to love herself.
Liang Lai’s fingertip traced the fresh-etched gold lines on the parchment; as the second page unfurled slow, the study air thickened to syrup.
Countless tiny crystals hung suspended, refracting a dizzying psychedelic haze.
‘Intermediate Resonance: Humanity’s Triad’
‘Prism of Truth: Crystallization that Pierces All Veiled Lies’
‘Crown of Goodness: Crystallization that Heals Soul Wounds with Mercy’
‘Echo of Beauty: Crystallization that Revives the Withered with Hope’
“Truth, goodness, beauty? Interesting… but right up my alley.”
Liang Lai smiled.
Know thyself, after all—and she knew: she was kind, truly kind, not some false piety.
Three hovering sigils bloomed beneath the text, manifesting as a translucent prism, a golden circlet, and a rainbow vortex.
Liang Lai had barely brushed the ‘Prism of Truth’ when a sharp sting lanced her temple.
The prism was forged from countless miniaturized faces, each mouthing variant lies in endless loop.
“Ugh…”
She gritted through the nausea, sinking her awareness in—and beheld a horror:
A black crystal needle half-buried in Duoluosa’s left eye’s depths; a shadow coiled in Asteris’s doll’s gut; even Iluci’s bruised knee from the fall flickered with unnatural violet.
“These are… the hidden threats buried in the children?”
Liang Lai pushed deeper, only for hot liquid to flood her nostrils.
A droplet of blood splashed the sigil; those tiny faces lunged, ravenous.
As the coppery tang spread, the prism’s vista warped—freezing on the papal hall’s under-sanctum, where Alphonse VII injected some black crystal into the eyes of a comatose young Duoluosa.
“Cough!”
She severed the link with a jolt, blood-flecked crystal shards seeping through her fingers over nose and mouth.
The parchment flared crimson alert:
‘Truthsight Overload: Current Soul Strength Insufficient for Full Deconstruction’
Liang Lai wiped her nosebleed with a wry smile, turning to the second sigil, ‘Crown of Goodness.’
Wiser now, she sheathed her fingertip in self-compassionate silver crystal before touching.
The golden ring chimed like wind bells, loosing a warm current laced with herbal balm.
But when Liang Lai tried simulating a heal on Iluci’s leg, the crown weighed like an anvil.
Golden rays twisted to thorns, pricking her arm—bruises blooming identical to Iluci’s beneath her skin.
Fresh ink bled across the blank page:
‘Mercy Backlash: Healing Without Grasping Pain is Mere Hypocritical Numbness’
The third sigil, ‘Echo of Beauty,’ proved strangest: the rainbow vortex, on activation, sucked light from the room like a vortex, withering Liang Lai’s right fingertip to crone-like creases in a blink.
She yanked free in haste, spotting the desk’s revived rose corner rotting away visibly.
‘Warning: Forcing Beauty on the Worn Accelerates Decay’
Liang Lai slumped into the armchair, staring at her still-quaking hands.
The sigils’ afterimages burned on her retinas, overlapping into a nauseating kaleidoscope.
Then it clicked; she snatched the quill and scrawled at the parchment’s edge:
‘Truth Demands Courage’
‘Goodness Demands Cost’
‘Beauty Demands Restraint’
The ink soaked in at once; the page replied:
‘The Essence of Intermediate Resonance is Balance’
‘Like Juggling Three Crystal Orbs’
‘The Trick Isn’t Catching—It’s Keeping Their Dance Lovely’
Dawn’s light crept through the window; Liang Lai saw the hovering crystal motes align into a DNA-helix under the sun.
Guiding them with her newborn grasp of ‘balance,’ the three sigils suddenly orbited her light as air.
The Prism of Truth mirrored the children’s sleeping smiles; the Crown of Goodness smoothed the bruises on her arm; the Echo of Beauty restored luster to her shrunken fingertip.
A trickle of crystal-blood welled in her nose again, but this time Liang Lai smiled with dawning clarity.
“I see…”
She daubed the stain, watching crystals prism rainbows in the morning glow.
“True resonance… never a brute-force grab.”
But then came a long sigh.
“Still haven’t cracked the real essence, though…”
Her body felt leaden; fresh blood trickled from her nose, pattering the desk.
Liang Lai swiped it away, rising weary.
“No good… Looks like I need more time to digest this. Intermediate’s way tougher than beginner—side effects hit harder…”
Dizziness rolled in waves; she gripped the desk.
She had to rest—push further, and she’d crumple right there.
Liang Lai staggered along the wall back to her room, collapsing onto the bed and burrowing under covers for a dead sleep.
She recovered over a full two days.
In that span, Duoluosa, Asteris, and Delucia behaved themselves—no squabbles, just focused drills (only Duoluosa and Asteris on crystallization; Delucia, as a shadowkin, couldn’t grasp it).
Duoluosa and Asteris even turned it into a fierce rivalry, spurring each other on.
Iluci mellowed too, likely because Liang Lai’s daily company topped two hours—quietly beside her, tending her own tasks, but it soothed Iluci deep.
Time slipped by; half a month later.
“Duoluosa, Asteris—no nerves for the assessment, alright?”
Liang Lai fussed over the pair’s collars.
Duoluosa looked far jitterier than Asteris, glancing repeatedly into the mirror at the human-skin mask over her face.