Chapter 65: Admiration and envy are similar.
Ah, as expected… it really is this different.
The aura they wore, the air that drifted around them; only that spot seemed painted in a different color.
Was it just his own bias, or was it actually that way?
It didn’t matter. Either way, the world reflected in Claudia’s eyes remained unchanged.
“Mirania-sama, thank you so much for everything.”
“I didn’t really do much.”
“No, you recommended so many helpful books!”
“You’re the one who read them and made them your own, Lady Mary.”
Right before him, the two were talking with gentle smiles.
Perhaps because of Mirania’s personality, or because Mary-June herself was so naturally affectionate, their atmosphere meshed without any friction.
It was the same with Claudia; he had never once felt irritated while talking to Mary-June.
There was no longer any need, as there had been at first, to cautiously gauge each other’s temperament and choose topics carefully.
Mary-June’s pure heart was dazzlingly beautiful.
Whether one interpreted that as goodness or naïveté depended on the person, but if Claudia were to give his own honest opinion, it was an extremely likable personality.
He knew that.
And yet…
“Yulan, you’re surprisingly weak at liberal arts subjects, aren’t you?”
“Am I…? I never really noticed.”
“It’s not that you’re bad, just that it takes you longer. And the little mistakes you do make are always when you have to interpret passages. You hadn’t realized?”
“Ah… now that you mention it, yeah.”
“Well, you barely make mistakes to begin with.”
His ears picked up the voices.
His gaze was pulled toward them.
Why was it always toward Violet?
Whenever he spoke with her, he never felt calm.
There was none of the pleasant ease he felt with Mary-June.
An endless restlessness, an unsteady footing.
The slightest misalignment made him want to turn away and refuse to speak at all; a sense of discomfort and constraint.
If he just didn’t look.
If he just didn’t talk.
Then he wouldn’t be tormented by these intangible feelings.
He knew that perfectly well.
Yet his eyes were drawn all the same.
His ears filtered out every other noise to catch her voice more clearly.
Until very recently, the mere sight of her had been unpleasant, her artificially sweet voice grating on his nerves.
He had wanted nothing more than to forget she even existed; Claudia had disliked Violet that much.
He was supposed to dislike her.
Yet now his gaze was pinned in place outside his own awareness.
The thought of looking away never even occurred to him; he simply wanted to burn the sight of her into his eyes.
Suddenly, golden eyes met his.
“…!”
Tension shot through his entire body.
Pierced by that cold, unreadable stare, shame flooded him for his own actions.
More than being noticed by Violet herself, being seen by Yulan made him deeply uncomfortable.
To Claudia, Yulan was a kind of weakness; something frightening.
He didn’t fully understand what emotion that was even for himself.
His heart pounded like a child’s before a scolding.
The sound of blood rushing seemed to grow louder in his ears.
If those eyes sharpened even slightly, what excuse could he possibly make…?
All the worries swirling in his mind turned out to be needless.
(Eh—)
As naturally as if Claudia didn’t exist at all, Yulan’s gaze slid back to Violet.
Gently, softly; exactly the expression most people imagined when they thought of Yulan.
Yet Claudia knew well that the feeling behind it was dozens of times sweeter than usual.
“Hey, Vio-chan, once the exams are over, let’s go out somewhere again.”
“Of course. This time I’ll go wherever you want.”
“Wherever I want?”
“We promised you could think of a reward, remember? It’ll be better if we choose together.”
“Waa… thank you, Vio-chan!”
“I haven’t done anything yet.”
Violet covered her mouth, unable to contain her smile.
Yulan returned it with a meltingly happy expression, soaked in bliss.
The scene was perfect, dazzling.
Was it awe at the expression Yulan wore—one that stood in complete opposition to the one directed at Claudia?
Or was it…
envy of that smile Violet wore, the one he had once despised so much?