Vol3 Chapter 7: Depature

After that night on the back hill, days passed in a surface calm, roiling with undercurrents.

An unspoken understanding seemed to form between Bai Ci and Lu Mingfei. He didn’t press for the outcome of her “consideration,” but when they crossed paths in the hallways, his eyes would flicker with cautious hope, a mix of goofy anticipation and barely concealed longing, like a puppy guarding a treasure cave.

As for Bai Ci, she remained quiet, but her silence carried less of that lifeless detachment and more of a heavy, introspective weight, as if she were untangling her thoughts. She’d occasionally offer Lu Mingfei a faint nod or let her gaze linger on him for an extra second, small gestures that sent him into quiet elation for hours, only to spiral back into anxious loops of What’s she thinking?

Xia Mi and Zero became keen observers. Xia Mi, like a fox sniffing gossip, tried to pry with subtle jabs, but Bai Ci deflected with silence or topic changes. Zero was more direct, occasionally asking, “Decided?” Bai Ci would only shake her head, her eyes complex, radiating unresolved tension, like a taut bowstring, its arrow’s release uncertain.

This atmosphere held until the summer break approached, slowly breaking the stalemate.

The departure day arrived on a gloomy morning. Lead-gray clouds hung low over Cassell College’s ancient spires, the air thick with moisture, hinting at coming rain.

Downstairs, Bai Ci pulled a small suitcase. Her luggage was always minimal—essentials, clothes, books, nothing personal. At the bottom lay a photo frame from Lu Mingfei, its edges nearly worn from her obsessive wiping.

Xia Mi and Zero trailed behind. Xia Mi, usually boisterous, was uncharacteristically subdued, her expression wilted. Zero, in her usual school uniform, her ice-blue eyes calm, held a small, neatly wrapped paper bag.

“Senior Sister!” At the drop-off, Xia Mi rushed forward, enveloping Bai Ci in a bear hug so fierce it nearly knocked her over. “Ugh… you’re leaving! Japan’s so far! Who’ll eat late-night snacks with me? Who’ll listen to me rant about that loser Fingel? Senior Sister Zero just hums and nods!” Her face buried in Bai Ci’s shoulder, her voice muffled, thick with a nasal tone.

Bai Ci, caught off guard, stiffly raised a hand to pat Xia Mi’s back. The familiar, vibrant energy of Xia Mi filled her senses, oddly comforting.

“I’m not heading to my execution…” Bai Ci’s voice held a trace of exasperation.

“But I’ll miss you!” Xia Mi looked up, forcing a smile, and pulled a small box from her pocket, shoving it into Bai Ci’s hand. “Here! For you! Latest model… uh… pepper spray! Tokyo’s got creeps, they say! If some jerk tries anything, blast him—make him scream!” She waved her tiny fist. “And don’t go on solo missions, don’t stick your head in the washing machine doing laundry, don’t call repairmen alone—mmph, mmph!”

Bai Ci glanced at Zero, who’d muffled Xia Mi, and gave a soft laugh, pocketing the box. “Thanks.”

Zero stepped forward, handing Bai Ci the paper bag, her voice cool: “Some common meds. Japan’s pharmacies are pricey—keep these for emergencies.” She paused, her ice-blue eyes piercing Bai Ci’s calm facade. “Mount Fuji’s beautiful. Send me photos.”

In those plain words, Bai Ci felt a quiet care. Taking the bag, her fingers brushed Zero’s cool ones. She nodded. “Okay. Thanks.”

No sentimental speeches. Zero just patted Bai Ci’s arm lightly.

“The car’s here,” Zero said, glancing at the approaching academy shuttle.

The mood grew heavier.

Xia Mi clung to Bai Ci’s hand. “Senior Sister… you and Senior Brother…” She couldn’t resist, her eyes brimming with curiosity.

Bai Ci stiffened almost imperceptibly. Her lashes lowered, hiding the storm in her eyes. She’d avoided Lu Mingfei these past days—that kiss on his cheek, her promise to “consider,” burned like a hot iron. Seeing him made her lips tingle.

She needed space, time, to untangle her chaotic past, awkward present, and blurry future, to face the massive question of “self” buried deep within. Until that settled, she couldn’t make promises. Any closeness risked hurting them both.

“When I’m back…” Her voice was soft, nearly lost to the wind, but carried unwavering resolve. “…We’ll talk.”

Xia Mi studied her calm, resolute profile, opened her mouth, then swallowed her words.

What’s wrong with you? You kissed him and you’re still this awkward? Just say it! Is it that hard?

But it’d happen eventually. No rush.

The black car pulled up smoothly. The driver got out, silently loading Bai Ci’s suitcase into the trunk.

Bai Ci took one last look at the familiar dorm building, her gaze sweeping over Xia Mi’s red eyes and Zero’s calm but caring face. She breathed in the damp, cool air, as if etching Cassell’s essence into her lungs.

“I’m off,” she said softly, opening the car door and sliding in.

The door’s closing cut off the sight of the two girls outside.

She hadn’t told Lu Mingfei. She didn’t know why—maybe she just couldn’t bring herself to.

The car started, pulling away from the dorms. Bai Ci didn’t look back. She leaned against the cold window, watching familiar sights—vine-covered walls, the grand gate, lush trees—recede, blur, and vanish from view.

Her heart felt hollow, like a piece had been carved out. There was reluctance to leave the familiar, uncertainty about the road ahead, but mostly, a heavy resolve about “self.” Going to Japan wasn’t just a mission—it was a line she’d drawn for herself. In a strange place, without Lu Mingfei, she’d face herself.

To find what she wanted. To see if she could… truly answer his burning sincerity.

The car left the academy gates, merging onto the highway to the airport. The scenery turned unfamiliar, open, with distant mountains under a lead-gray sky.

Bai Ci closed her eyes, fingers brushing the pocket holding Xia Mi’s pepper spray and Zero’s meds. The cool touch calmed her racing thoughts.

She’d come back.

With a clear answer.

Whatever that answer might be.

Rain began to fall, pattering on the window, blurring the fleeting world outside. The car was silent, save for the engine’s low hum and the rhythmic swipe of the wipers. Bai Ci opened her eyes, staring at the rain-washed haze.

Time to go.