Chapter 66: The day I made the sign of the cross in the depths of hell.

They say the eyes speak as much as the mouth, and I think that’s true.
Looking at someone is a sign of interest; the more often it happens, the more they’re on your mind; staring means you want to keep that image forever.
I can’t tell whether the emotion behind it is good or bad, but at its root, the act of looking means your heart is turned toward them.

(Still… he’s so obvious.)

I’ve noticed the gaze fixed on us—on Violet—for a while now.
I know exactly who it belongs to.

Whenever Yulan is beside her, Claudia’s eyes always look like they’re holding something back.

But this time… much to Yulan’s displeasure, Claudia’s gaze isn’t on him.
It’s on Violet.

If it were directed at Yulan, he could simply ignore it.

“If the last day of exams ends early, we’ll have plenty of time.”

“Yeah… Should we have a little celebration, just the two of us?”

“That sounds lovely.”

The moment Violet smiles, the click of the tongue Yulan had been holding back melts away.
Even if Claudia’s attention is still on her, as long as Violet is smiling, it doesn’t matter.

That leniency, of course, comes from the fact that Violet hasn’t noticed Claudia’s gaze at all.

“We’ll have lunch somewhere… Is there anything you want to do, Yulan?”

“Me…? Nothing in particular comes to mind…”

Because the moment he’s with Violet, ninety percent of Yulan’s wishes are already fulfilled.
The remaining ten percent stems from romantic desire—something he can’t act on yet.
In other words, right now, he wants for nothing.

“Then think of somewhere you’d like to go before the day comes.”

“But what about you, Vio-chan—”

“No. This is your reward for working hard too.”

Even if she says that, to Yulan the reward is complete the instant Violet is there.
He’s never been materialistic; he rarely wants things in the first place.

Whenever Yulan does want something, Violet is always at the center of it.
More precisely, Violet is indispensable to his desires.
If she weren’t there, Yulan would lose even the will to breathe.

“Hmm…”

This is surprisingly difficult.
He doesn’t want to trouble Violet, and he wants to accept every bit of the reward she’s offering, but he’s missing the most important part: an actual “reward” he wants.

It’s a happy dilemma, but it feels far harder than the exams.

“I’ll… think of something by the day.”

The words he forced out sounded far weaker than he intended.

Truthfully, nothing came to mind at all.
But for Violet’s sake, he was sure he’d come up with something.
Baseless confidence, yet absolute certainty.
He was placing enormous expectations on his future self, but it would probably be fine.

“…If you don’t want to, you can say no.”

“The one thing I’ll never do is refuse.”

He answered so quickly it almost overlapped her words.
Violet’s anxious expression shifted to a puzzled blink.
Her wide-eyed, childish surprise made it clear she hadn’t expected such a strong reaction.
But he had to deny it; otherwise she would misunderstand.

Very few people knew how extraordinarily sensitive Violet was to others’ expressions.
Probably not even she herself realized it; she likely thought she was oblivious.
But in reality, she was simply pretending not to notice.
If she let her guard down even slightly, she would pick up on the tiniest changes.
Her antenna wasn’t highly sensitive—it was broken, unable to filter anything out.
She had been raised in a world where noticing everything was the only way to survive.

That’s why he could never fail to tell her.

“I’m really happy. I’m looking forward to it. I just can’t think of anything I want.”

“I… I see. Sorry for rushing you.”

“No, no. I never realized I was this desire-less myself.”

“It’s true… You rarely say you like or want anything, do you?”

“Yeah…”

The person he’d gladly die to have is standing right in front of him, but he has to prepare perfectly and choose the exact right moment; otherwise he’ll regret it for the rest of his life.
They say failure is the mother of success, but in this case there is only one chance.
If he fails, the chance will be gone forever; worse, he might drag Violet into misery with him.

That outcome alone is unacceptable.
Even the possibility is unforgivable.
A world in which Violet is not happy is simply wrong.

No matter who else ends up unhappy, she alone must be happy.

(Even if that person… is me.)

“…”

“Yulan?”

“Hey, Vio-chan.”

“…?”

Her large, round eyes reflected him, tinged with innocent curiosity.
They sparkled; little Yulan had once believed without doubt that these eyes were jewels.
He had seen countless things since then, even real gems with his own eyes and learned their names.

Yet to Yulan, the only thing of true value was still these eyes.
Just existing, they were beautiful; when they smiled, they became even more so.

In every one of Yulan’s memories, the most beautiful and precious thing was always Violet.

That’s why he thought—if Violet is happy, that’s enough.

I fell in love. I want to be loved by him.

The smiling faces overlap.
Even when she was hurled into the depths of hell, as long as Violet could smile, as long as she could be happy, that was enough.

The day she fell in love, Yulan prayed from the bottom of hell for the goddess’s happiness.

And when that prayer was shattered to dust, he swore he would never again entrust Violet’s happiness to anyone else.

A man who doesn’t love Violet, a fool who doesn’t understand a goddess’s worth—her love is far too good for him.
He threw it away once; it’s too late to be enchanted by her beauty now.

Let him suffer in the same hell Yulan once knew, haunted by the past version of himself.

With curses and hatred clouding his eyes—he had pretended not to notice.

(If she ever realized what that man is feeling right now…)

If she knew whose gaze was following her.
If she realized she was drawing him in.

If the day ever came when her wish to be loved came true—

Who would Violet choose?

And who… could truly make her happy?